Apology

I know many people owe many apologies, and sometimes those are not delivered. I know many of the people I owe apologies to have already forgiven me, and others don’t even think I need to apologize, but I want to. There are also those who want me to apologize for things I have not done. I will begin with those so I can end this post on a happier note. If you think you deserve an apology from me because I don’t talk to you enough, then you won’t get one because effort has to be put on both sides. What I mean is, if you don’t talk to me I won’t talk to you either because I’m tired of always putting so much effort and getting no effort in return. So if you want me to talk to you then why don’t you try talking to me first for once? To those who I have hurt I am deeply sorry. I don’t believe I am a bad person and I would never do something to purposely hurt another person. I’m sorry to those who I affected with my mood swings, I know I can get moody, and those who stand it, thank you for being there for me. I’m sorry to those who I took out my frustration on. I only did it because it’s easier to take it out on the people I love, than the people I don’t, because I know they’ll keep loving me no matter what. I’m sorry to those I hurt with my words. There is no excuse for saying something to hurt others, it happens a lot, but that doesn’t make it ok. So I’m sorry to those who I have hurt.

Music

Music is a very big part of my life. When I’m bored, I listen to music. When I’m doing math homework, I listen to music. When I’m in the car, I listen to music. Whether I’m alone or surrounded by friends, I always listen to music. But music also has a meaning to me. I listen to different kinds of music depending on my mood. Many times I also have songs that remind me of different people or bring back a memory. When I’m sad I tend to listen to sad music, where the lyrics roughly contain what is going on. When I’m happy, I listen to music I can dance to or that just has lyrics that tell happy things. Whenever I listen to a song for the first time with someone or they show me the song, I often tie that song to the person; and every time I listen to it, I am reminded of them. Another way I tie songs to people is if the song says a lot about the person or my relationship with the person. Sometimes songs can represent memories, like if I am with my friends listening to music and we are having lots of fun, that song can remind me of that memory. Other time if I am at a party, dancing or having lots of fun while a certain song is playing, every time I hear it after that I am reminded of that memory. So music is an incredible part of my life… whoever invented it was a genius! I don’t know what I would do without it.

Player

Human beings are the most complicated creatures on Earth. I happen to be in the middle of some of the most complicated of these species. One of the most complicated of these species is The Player. There is always that guy with the mysterious personal life who loves to play around with girls’ feelings. They change their mind form one day to the other and you can never really tell if they are lying. I, unfortunately very often fall for this kind of person. They use many strategies to make you fall for them, but they just drop you in the end. One example is they make you think they like you by always talking to you and complimenting you. Because you think they like you, and they make you feel good about yourself, you fall for them. Then, when they know they have you, they just stop acting like they used to, and often stop talking to you completely unless you talk to them. Many times you find out all the things they told you about how they like you are a huge lie. This has happened to me enough times for me to learn something from it. I have finally learned to not fall flat on my face when this happens, but to at least fall on my bum, where there is some cushioning. What you have to do when you encounter this kind of situation, is not give yourself in completely. Let them know you’re there and you like them, but don’t fall head over heels for them until they catch you first. Some are completely hopeless and those you just really have to stay away from. Though I have had this experience quite a few times and can tell you how to handle it a bit, I am still completely clueless about what goes on in this kind of person’s head. Maybe they think: Oh she’s attractive, I should make her like me so I can seem cooler and then just pretend I never liked her. Or maybe they want to prove themselves and think: I’m so cool already but if I can get her to like me that will just prove just how cool I am. Who know… maybe their minds really just are complicated and they change their minds that fast. But I generally advise you to go for the guys who are not like this and actually care.